Apr 14, 2012

I'd like to listen to your sad story, but could I l smile while I listen?

I often hear that it's not good to say "gambare (がんばれ)" to someone who is depressed. I can't translate the word "gambare" exactly into English, but it might be something like "Go for it!"

Speaking as someone who has suffered from depression, I myself don't mind people saying  "Go for it", because I understand that the person who is saying "Go for it" has good intentions. I also think, however, that they don't understand my own feelings.

When I feel bad, sometimes I can't even get out of bed. Nor can I think about the things that I have to do. At such times, if someone said to me,"Go for it!", I'd think "Sure, but how?"

I have enough experience now to accept myself who can't do anything but get into the bed when I feel bad, but before I used to feel guilty about my inability too to work before. The tiredness was painful, and at the same time the guiltiness was also painful.

After March 11 2011, many messages were sent to the victims of the earthquake. Most of them were "Go for it" messages. Of course many people would have been encouraged by the phrase "Go for it", so I don't deny it, but I imagine that there were many other people like me who don't know who to "Go for it."

When I hear the message "Go for it", I think of two things.

The people, who say "Go for it", might believe in their own good will, and their belief would make them blind to understand what the victims really feel.

And more the messages "Go for it" are very stereotypic. I've heard that many people saying stereotypic massages. I understand their "good will", but I can't touch their own feelings from their hearts.

Recently I've been listening a lot to  Gen Hoshino's song "The Song of Habits (くせのうた)" very much.

I like the phrase of the lyric of this song.

I'd like to listen to your bad story, but could I listen to it with smiling?

When I find the people who are in time of hardship, I, as an ordinary person, think what I can do for them. At first I try to understand what they are feeling  and the relationship between them and me.

In the end I think that the only thing to say to them is,"I'd like to listen to your bad story, but could I listen to it with smiling?"

I don't know about general depressed patients, but at least I myself would like it if someone were to listen to my bad story with smiling. I also think that some of the victims might think of same thing.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Yagian, could you get in touch withe me please, tobrechthodler@gmail.com, I am the president of the Swiss branch of Reporters without borders and we are interested in reproducing a slightly shortened version of this remarkable speech with photos in our album 2012. Would this be possible? is there a translation into French already? I would be extremely grateful for a reply. Best regards and thank you for the great stories in your blog, gambare and best wishes from therese